Does Passion Last In A Relationship
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When we are passionate about something, we will usually feel it in our body, we will often notice other people around us showing signs of passion, and we can easily relate to what that thing is!
For example, if you’re passionately engaged with your career, you might spend hours studying for new projects or skills, you may invest time into your profession by going through training courses, talking shop with colleagues, and investing in professional development.
You would also probably enjoy meeting more people who are involved in the same field as you, which could lead to friendships and collaborations.
If you love sports, you would watch games, listen to talk shows about the game, buy team shirts, etc. You would most likely be surrounded by lots of fans of the sport too.
Why passion is important in a relationship
In my recent article, I discussed how crucial it is to have fun together as a couple. You need to enjoy each other’s company, and love spending time with your significant other!
But there are some things that can get in the way of this. If you feel like your partner doesn’t care enough about you, or if they make efforts to avoid interacting with you, then it will be difficult to achieve true intimacy.
Sadly, this situation is not rare. According to a study conducted by The Pew Research Center, only 30 percent of married couples said they were very close friends with their partners.
I understand why this may happen- after all, people grow up learning how to separate from each other. Friendships often develop into romantic relationships, so we learn how to share limited amounts of time and energy without thinking too much about what happens next.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it does mean that casual interactions may come to an end. More intimate connections require more effort, and sometimes even a little extra work.
The passion-paralysis syndrome
When you find yourself constantly putting off things that you want to do because you don’t feel like it, or you're not sure if your partner will be into it, that's called passion-pausing.
The thing about passion is, once it comes back, it comes really quickly!
If you've got some time before you have to leave for work, then what are you waiting for? You could both wake up at the same time one morning and agree that today is the day you'll make passionate love to each other.
Or maybe you'll decide to go out for a drink together after work so you can talk more easily. Or you could plan an activity as a couple, then spend the rest of the evening hanging out with friends instead.
Whatever you choose to do, just make sure you're conscious of how your loved one feels. If they seem annoyed, let them know well ahead of time that you wanted to do this, and try to give them enough time to get ready and pack their baggies.
Hopefully everything works out beautifully and you enjoy your night together. But even if it doesn't, at least you knew you gave it your best shot.
How to get your partner to feel passionate about you
In order to boost passion in your relationship, there are three main things that must be worked on. These things are intimacy, attraction, and motivation.
Intimacy refers to having emotional conversations with your loved one. This can be done through texting, phone calls, or meeting in person.
Attraction is described as liking someone physically. If you do not like their physical appearance, then try to improve it by going to more yoga classes or giving them new clothes to wear.
Motivation comes from wanting something else. They may want to go somewhere alone together, spend time apart, or ask questions about things they both like.
This will all help create some type of connection which can lead to passion.
They aren’t feeling passionate enough
In my experience, passion is like sunshine — you know it when you see it, but having it at your disposal takes work to achieve. It requires motivation, effort, and sometimes even gifts!
When I was younger, I thought that being more passionate about things would automatically make me feel better or lead to happier feelings. But now that I have kids, I realize how hard it can be to stay focused for long periods of time.
Running after something that makes you happy can quickly turn into running away from home because you’ll spent all day chasing your dreams.
So while I always wanted to pursue my dream career (being a mom), I had to recognize that not everyone else feels the same way. And instead of getting upset about this, I must acknowledge it and learn to accept it as part of life.
If someone doesn’t feel the same burn in their chest when they watch TV, then why should I? That’s just not my thing!
I learned this lesson the hard way with our first kid. When he was little, I didn’t feel much excitement around children. So every time we would try to invite friends over, I would get really nervous and stressed-out.
Try having more adventures together
If you feel that your significant other is no longer interested in exploring new things, then it’s time to look for passion somewhere else.
This could be through meeting up with friends or colleagues, going to events, taking trips or even doing something totally different like dancing or yoga.
Whatever you do, don’t get distracted by all of these activities because they can easily drown out whether or not your partner feels passionate about what you are both doing.
If you want to see if there is any spark left, then try engaging in some non-intimate activities and see how things go. You may need to take a few steps forward before getting the response that you desire.
Try doing things you love together
In my book, I talk about how important it is to have passion for each other in your relationship.
I also discuss what makes passion disappear from a relationship. One of the biggest reasons is when one person stops trying to do things they want to do with their partner.
If someone wants to watch TV every night then that’s okay, but if you both agree that watching TV would be more exciting than going out then why wouldn’t you make time for that?
It sounds crazy, but this happens all too often in relationships.
When couples break up, one of the main causes is lack of intimacy. If one person doesn’t touch his or her lover enough then there’s a chance they will look outside the relationship for something better.
Luckily, we can learn some ways to re-ignite the flame so to speak. What works for me may not work for you though, so try different strategies and see what sparks back into existence.
Ask your partner about their passions
It is very important to ask your significant other if they have ever shared these passions with you before. If they have, great! Keep an eye out for signs that they are investing more time into them – new clothes, new hairstyles, etc.
If they tell you that this has been happening recently, it may be because they feel passionate about something else right now. This could be due to a change in responsibilities at work or home, or maybe they just don’t like what they see when they look in the mirror and thus aren’t liking themselves as much.
Whatever the case may be, acknowledge how hard it can be to balance relationships and passion and try not to take things too seriously. Sometimes people need a little break.
It’s also worth pointing out that while it's good to give each other attention, there will come a time when one of you won’t want to be bothered with such frivolous activities, especially if the other person doesn’t bring in enough money.
Look into their passions
In my experience, passion is never truly lasting unless you are willing to work at it. If you feel passionate about something once, then great! But if that thing doesn’t grow old and stale, then it will soon fade away.
I have seen relationships end because one person no longer feels passionately about the other person or this world. They may be tired of being with someone who isn’t really investing much in them, nor themselves.
Or maybe they sensed a lack of passion for life and so they stopped giving their loved ones the credit they deserve for keeping them happy and healthy.
If your partner doesn’t seem to enjoy what she does for a living anymore, ask why. Is it because she feels that her career has run its course? Or perhaps she just wants to do something different now that she has two kids.
These could be signs of passion dying in a relationship. You don’t want to force it though; silence is often a better route than confrontation.
But if you must talk about it, try to address these issues early on to avoid a breakup.