How Rebound Relationships Fail
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Rebound relationships are with people you previously dated or were romantically involved with.
This relationship is short-lived (a few months, a few years), and frequently, it doesn’t work out.
It’s because the person didn’t put in the work to maintain a successful relationship.
Why do they fail?
The main reason rebound relationships fail is that a rebound person wasn’t worth keeping.
They have emotional, psychological, and/or physical issues that they don’t want to deal with.
Their reasons are as follows:
- They don’t have time to maintain a healthy relationship
- They’re insecure
- They have no self-confidence
- They think they’re too good for you
- They have to work too much
- They can’t deal with your issues
- They’re not in love with you
- They’re embarrassed about being with you
- They haven’t had a relationship in a while
- They don’t have the guts to end it themselves
- They don’t have the emotional strength to let you go
The truth is, if you’ve been with someone for more than 3 months without a breakup, then you’re doing something right.
But if you’ve been with someone for less than 3 months without a breakup, then you’re not doing something right.
Also, if you’ve had two or more partners at the same time without a breakup, then you’re doing something wrong.
Why does it feel so good?
People want to feel in love. It’s a fundamental human need.
However, love comes in many forms and is a different experience for everyone.
For example, some people want a large amount of sex and love letters.
Others prefer long phone conversations and quiet Sundays with dinner with their partner.
It depends on the person.
But a primary reason why people feel so good in a relationship after just a few months is that they’ve unconsciously entered into a false sense of security.
In other words, they believe that the relationship is going to last. And that means they have expectations.
So when their partner starts to disappoint, the result is that they pull back and don’t care enough to try to make things right.
You can avoid being a rebound
I’ve worked with so many people who are miserable in relationships because they’ve stayed in a bad one too long.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
If you’ve been dating someone for more than three months, then you’re not taking any chances with your emotions.
But there’s a way to do it right.
Here’s how it goes.
Whenever you’re dating someone new, give your brain time to adjust.
It’s going to feel uncomfortable for a few days. This is normal.
For example, if you’re into a guy, but you’ve only been dating him for two weeks, then in that short time, your brain has already cataloged everything he’s done wrong.
But if you’ve been dating him for a week, then your brain is just beginning to register all the good things he’s doing.
During this time, you can’t see everything as it’s happening.
Instead, you’re just experiencing it all as your brain works to make sense of the information you’re receiving.
For example, if you get butterflies when you’re with a guy, that’s the data you’re receiving from your brain that says “this guy is cute and sweet and so kind.”
But you can’t read it for another 24 hours, which is why you should give your brain some time to acclimate to the new information.
But don’t use this information as an excuse to stay in a bad relationship for too long.
Remember that people who stay in bad relationships too long don’t do so out of laziness or being unwilling to try something new.
They do so because they feel so safe in the relationship that they’re not willing to risk anything for the sake of love.
So why don’t you stick it out with a bad relationship for a few weeks, and see what happens?
What do you want?
The goal is to try something new, but your brain can’t learn something new in three months.
But you can do it in three days.
The good news is that your brain can learn anything in three days if it’s something that you care about and if you tell it that you really want to learn it.
Once you’ve given yourself some time to get used to your new partner, then you can tell your brain that this is the person you want to be in love with.
You’re going to want to tell it that you love being in love with them.
And, when you talk about what’s good about the relationship, use the words “you” or “we” to show how much you love being in love with them.
Then, just watch the changes happen.
Your brain will begin to react like a network of neurons, and once it’s in the loop of a feeling like love, your brain will act the same way.
When the world starts to feel like home again, you’ll find yourself feeling so happy and in love that you’ll be able to enjoy yourself as you fall in love with your partner all over again.
Your mind has changed. The only thing that’s going to change is your behavior.