How To Apologize To A Friend For Not Keeping In Touch

March 31, 2021

It can be incredibly frustrating to talk to people about your long-lost best friend who suddenly stopped responding to you years ago, and the reason that you don’t talk to her anymore is that you just haven’t been able to connect with her ever since you were teens.

Whether you have lost touch with an old friend due to a disagreement or because of the other people in the friendship that often hinder the relationship, they may not understand why you haven’t been able to reconnect.

Regardless of the reason, how you apologize to someone for the long-past silence can set the tone for the future.

But before we start, let’s talk about the perfect way to apologize for not keeping in touch with an old friend in the first place.

The blame game:

Black man apologizing while talking with girlfriend

The first question you need to ask yourself when apologizing to an old friend is, “How did this friendship come to this?”.

Why did she stop talking to you? What happened?

Did you do something? Did you not do something?

Is it because you moved away? Is it because you didn’t reach out to her?

Did you have a hard time maintaining a friendship? Or was she just not that into you?

These are the questions you need to ask when you are apologizing to a friend for losing touch, but you shouldn’t go down that road if you really want to put the focus on why you want to talk to them again in the first place.

The apology with some action:

When you apologize to someone for losing touch and what they say is that they didn’t have the time to keep in touch with you, don’t let their silence sway you.

Instead, reach out to them. Email, write a text or a message on Facebook, call them on the phone, do whatever it takes to get back in touch with them.

The key is that you want to meet them halfway.

The apology that lacks action:

the girl is upset, bored on vacation, ruined vacation

There are some people in your life to who you may want to apologize, but because you have no intention of doing so, you just don’t do it.

For example, someone who is a poor friend to you. You don’t want to apologize to them because they hurt you in some way.

You just don’t have the desire to say that you are sorry for everything that you did to them.

Instead of saying that you are sorry, you may just go on and avoid them.

You may not want to call, you may not want to email them, and you may not want to message them. You will see them when you see them.

These are the kinds of people you should be keeping a distance from in your friendships.

The apology you make to yourself:

Most of the time, you are likely going to apologize to yourself for not doing anything to reconnect with an old friend.

Why would you apologize to a friend for not keeping in touch? Why would you apologize to yourself for not reaching out to them?

You should be the only one you apologize to.

It is easy to apologize to someone else when it is someone you don’t like because you are merely the face of the situation.

When you make an apology to yourself, you are going to have to face some hard truths about the situation.

You are going to have to accept that there were things you could have done differently so that the outcome would have been different.

So if you need to apologize to someone else for losing touch with an old friend, you can’t blame anyone else for it.

You need to be the one to start being the better person for it.

You need to be the one to take the steps towards reconnecting with an old friend.

With that said, let’s break down how you can do it.

How to be the best friend you can be

man in black jacket and blue denim jeans standing beside woman in black jacket

You know that person you used to have a million conversations with that you lost touch with?

They used to be your best friend. They were there for you when no one else was.

They cared for you when you needed someone the most.

And now you’ve lost touch with them.

You have hurt each other and because of that, now you can’t seem to reconnect.

That is how you became enemies, and enemies tend to stay enemies forever.

It is also important to remember that friends are much more than acquaintances. You are going to have to go through some steps to get back into touch with that old friend.

Step 1: Begin the recovery process

The best way to begin the recovery process is to first reflect on what happened.

As I mentioned, you might need to go back and reevaluate why things happened the way they did. And this is a conversation you should have with that old friend, not a conversation with yourself.

Because without that relationship, without that person, your life is incomplete. You will never feel like you are enough and you will always feel like you are missing something.

So to move on, you need to get yourself to the place where you can look back at the person you used to be, and the person you have become, and understand where you went wrong.

Then you have to go through the steps necessary to begin the process of reconnecting with the old friend, because if you do not, then you are going to be stuck there forever.

Step 2: Start taking steps towards reconnecting

To start the recovery process, you have to take steps towards reconnecting with that person.

For example, you can look at your old phone and try to figure out why you stopped talking to them. You could try to email them, text them, or Facebook messages them.

Just begin the process.

Sometimes, reconnecting takes just one step. You need to take a single step to begin the process of reconnecting.

Step 3: Take those steps with someone else

One of the best ways to get a handle on why you started losing touch with an old friend is to use the time you spend reconnecting with them to connect with someone else.

Because when you are just reflecting on the past and taking it all in, it is easy to just push everything out of your head and lock yourself in a world of your own making.

But in doing this, you will come to understand why things happened the way they did. And when you understand why they happened the way they did, you can use that information to begin the reconnection process.

So you can use this time to reconnect with someone important to you, or you can use it to make new friends.

Either way, this step will help you to see your life through someone else’s eyes.

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