How To Be Better At Building Relationships - Simple Tips

April 6, 2021

A relationship is when two people mutually benefit from each other by engaging in interactions.

It can also be a spiritual or social connection, but we’ll get into that in the next section.

The more people you have interacting with, the more likely they are to get to know each other. This is very important.

People learn in groups, especially when they’re well-planned and very structured. One of the most effective ways to learn is through formal education and training.

Moreover, large groups of people tend to have a consistent set of expectations and ideals.

When people come together with like-minded individuals, they are in effect cooperating to achieve shared objectives.

Human nature

We stood cliff side looking out upon the infinite horizon of life.

People naturally want to belong and be part of something bigger than themselves. Being part of a group is a natural aspect of human nature.

Additionally, the majority of us want to feel cared about, understood, and appreciated. If we don’t feel this, we will look for ways to get it.

Positively-balanced vs. overly-balanced

To build a meaningful and positive relationship, you should focus on the former, and as much as possible on the latter.

As a result, your interactions should be strongly based on positive interactions, with no strong negative interactions.

An overly balanced relationship will create the opposite effect.

As a result, we’ll be disconnected from our partner’s needs, and this will lead to resentment and heartache.

Choosing your partners

To build positive, healthy relationships, you need to know who you’re going to be focusing on.

This is a big decision because you need to think carefully about what your partner is going through and how they can help you.

When I say “who” I mean people.

Let’s think about dating for a moment.

Imagine you have several people you could be dating.

They may be close friends or just random people on the bus.

So who would you choose?

The obvious answer is:

“I’d choose that cute lady that I saw on the bus, but I don’t know her, so maybe I should just go out with the random guy.”

No, you should be thinking about people and the relationship you can establish with them because this is what will ultimately benefit you and your partner.

Here’s how I think about this.


With Your Friends

In dating, we only really have one real purpose: to build a healthy and strong relationship.

So you choose people who are going to compliment you.

Here are some traits I’m looking for in a potential partner:

  1. Someone who loves me in a way that makes me feel safe
  2. Someone who understands me in a way that allows me to be myself
  3. Someone who’s able to offer me different things I need, when I need them
  4. Someone who is doing the same for them
  5. Someone who we can have fun with and enjoy our time together
  6. Someone who’s invested in making things better, and in us


In relationships, we have to be more proactive.

The relationship starts with you and your partner, so it can’t be something you only do once.

The best relationships have to be a daily commitment. This means taking time to get to know the person, and making it a point to spend quality time together.

This also means not being passive about the relationship. It means sharing opinions and seeking solutions together.

It also means that you should both be able to contribute to making your relationship better.

Here are some traits I’m looking for in a potential partner:

  1. Someone who’s honest and wants to be open with me
  2. Someone who will be as flexible as possible, and who will treat me with respect
  3. Someone who can laugh, and that I can laugh with, and that will be happy
  4. Someone who supports me, and is there for me
  5. Someone who loves to travel and explore the world
  6. Someone kind, trustworthy, and compassionate
  7. Someone who is emotionally mature, and capable of expressing and demonstrating compassion

Without better quality relationships, career success will go to the people who are lucky to have them or the people who are lucky to make the most of them.

There is no benefit to putting in less time than you can to build connections and make them better.

As our book points out, building relationships is not just about your interactions with other people. It is also about the other people you have relationships with and the things they do for you.

You can create relationships for yourself by giving and receiving

Paradise Found

If you start with a view of improving other people’s lives by giving them what they want, you can, over time, create even more relationships that improve your life.

This is the core of relationships and it is done by building what you give with what you receive. It is an exercise in reciprocal altruism or eudaimonia.

In the words of philosopher Jordan Peterson, it is a “gift economy.”

Building relationships is about two people working together, putting in the effort to create something better for both parties, by giving to the other.

This is not about what you get in return, but about the result, which can be anything from a relationship to a gift.

That is, building relationships isn’t necessarily about getting what you want, but rather about creating something better for yourself through what you give.

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